Left Behind
by freedomnova
Summary: When the building collapsed Shay made it to the hospital, but was determined brain dead. Upon a few test they find out a secret that Shay has been hiding from everyone, including Kelly. Now he must decide how to move on and keep his life going without her. How could the discovery of Shay's secret change his life forever?
1. Chapter 1

**AN- So got home from work...I had coffee shouldn't have drank a large at 10pm...bad idea since I don't usually drink coffee. Then I watched a youtube video and cried a bit. (it was about Shay/Kelly) Anyways while I was watching I thought of this story. Leave a review and let me know if you guys think I should continue.**

He felt like he couldn't breath, the doctor couldn't be right she wasn't gone. She couldn't be gone. He didn't move he didn't even know how to make himself breath. He couldn't go on without her he just couldn't live in a world that she wasn't there. He didn't know how his heart could break any worse then it was right now. Even though they hadn't been together and never would he had always known she was his soul mate. There was no way she could be gone now, there was no way this could be happening.

They had been through so much over the years, drug addictions, depressions, killers, and Psychos how could their story end like this? With her struggling to stay alive in the next room. He couldn't go see her; he couldn't look at her in that state. No he couldn't see her, he couldn't move. He couldn't breath.

His mind played everything over and over in his mind. What could he do now that she was gone there was no one else in this world that would care for him the way she had. She always knew if something happened at work were she could find him if he didn't return home. He could try and hide things from her but she knew him. She could read him like a book. She always said his eyes told everything, he had never heard that from anyone before.

"I'm sorry." The doctor said again. But he wasn't listening the man continued to talk and ask about family, but he couldn't bring himself to answer he couldn't bring himself to say anything that could help end her life. Her family would be the ones to say that they could let her go. They could make that decision to end her life. He knew he wouldn't get a say in anything. It broke his heart to know she had been part of his life this long now and he had no say in what to do for her now. He had no rights to know what she would want.

Always. That's what they were supposed to promise. They were always supposed to be there for each other, but she was breaking that promise she was leaving him. This didn't feel real she couldn't be leaving him now. Always. He could still hear her words echo in his mind, 'Just one that we, uh that we promise to be there for each other always. No matter what.' It was her rule she had made it and now here she was leaving him behind she wouldn't be there for him anymore. This couldn't be happening this wasn't real.

"No." he mumbled shaking his head as the other men crowded around from him. He could hear one of the men saying,

"Give him room."

Yet he couldn't be sure what man spoke. He didn't care he couldn't focus on them right now; he couldn't hear what they continued to talk about. He only thought of her, gone. No it couldn't be she couldn't be gone. His mind couldn't wrap around the idea that he would never see her smile again, that he would never open his arms and laugh as she ran into them for a hug.

In the past years since she had become his roommate they had become the most consistent people in each other's life. No matter what relationship they were in at the time they could always rely on each other when yet another partner let them down. How could this be how it ended? How could this be where everything came to? "No." he said again, "This isn't-" he stopped, "She isn't gone." He looked up at the doctor.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor said again and began explaining how she was gone in most senses of the word. While the machines kept her alive now her brain had taken to much damage from the beam. It was a wonder she held on as long as she had to make it to the hospital. They had tried to save her, but she was already to far gone by the time she made it there.

He closed his eyes and saw her smile again he heard her laugh echo through his mind. His heart was breaking knowing he would only see her like this behind his eyes. He wouldn't get to feel her in his arms again, he wouldn't be able to see her eyes, and he wouldn't hear her laugh. She was gone. She was gone.

"Does anyone know if she was married or has a boyfriend?" The doctor asked looking around. Which caused his head to snap up confused.

"No." Casey's voice broke through, "She didn't have any, she is-" he paused, "She was gay."

"There had to be someone." The doctor said his voice very careful, "We need to speak to him."

All the men turned to look at him his mind racing. Why would the doctor need to know if she had a man in her life? Finally his mind seemed to form words that made sense. That he meant to say and that didn't just fall out of his mouth. "She didn't like men, like Casey said, I would have known if there was a guy. I would have known." Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that she hadn't told him something. His mind flashed to just a few days before.

_"Hey." She said as she walked down the stairs in her t-shit and shorts. He looked up from his cereal bowl._

_"Hey." He frowned, as he looked her over, "You look like crap."_

_"I feel like crap." She smirked, "You're supposed to say I look beautiful no matter what."_

_"You do." He smiled at her, "You always do."_

_"Now you're just full of crap." She told him as she took his glass of orange juice and took a sip._

_"Since when do you like orange juice?" he asked._

_She frowned, "I don't know. All I know is I've been craving it all morning. Hopefully I can keep it down."_

_"Maybe your body is trying to tell you something." He told her. "Maybe you need more vitamin C or something."_

_"Maybe." She said shrugging her shoulders. "Anyways I should get ready for work."_

"She would have told me." He said his mind still not fully wondering or caring why the doctor wanted to know. The doctor was saying more but he wasn't listening. His mind seemed to play in a loop again. She was gone. He was alone. He had no one. She was the only person he ever needed in life. They hadn't even been dating, just best friends. How could he live on without his best friend? How was it possible? He didn't know how this could be real and how she could really be gone.

"Kelly." Matt's voice broke through, "Do you know anything about this?" He looked up to his friend and saw the confusion on his face. He glanced around the room everyone seemed shocked as if they found out something that made no sense.

"What?" He was growing more confused. He didn't know any part of any conversation that had just happened. The doctor was looking at him, so was everyone else from the shift.

"Shay."

"She's dead." He said, "She's gone."

He saw the look in his friend's eyes. Matt knew he was in pain Matt knew he couldn't wrap his mind around what had happened only a few hours before.

"Yes." Matt said slowly, "But did he hear the doctor?"

He shook his head, what could Matt be getting at? Why would Matt need Kelly's input, there was nothing he could do now, he couldn't protect her. He had failed.

The doctor began to speak again, but he wasn't listening.

"Kelly!" Matt's voice said sternly, "You need to listen you need to hear this."

He turned his head to look at Kelly and the doctor. He saw the doctor had stopped talking his eyes on Kelly.

"It seems." The doctor said slowly, "After a few test, we found out she's pregnant."

"What?" Kelly asked, "But how?" he looked around at the other men, "What?"

Matt looked lost, "You know her best, did she say anything? Had she been acting any certain way."

"The orange juice." He whispered.

"What?" Matt asked.

"She drank orange juice, she hates it." He whispered, "But she said she craved it. How could I not see? She wasn't feeling well." He shook his head, "This doesn't make any sense." Then his mind remembered something from a few months ago. His heart felt like it dropped.

_The two held each other up as they laughed. Too drunk to care about the hang over that was sure to come tomorrow. Both had come back from awful dates they had decided that the night should be a bust and went out to Molly's together to have a good time and see whose date had been the worst. Kelly had won. The two had stumbled into a cab together and some how between the two of them gotten the correct address recited to the cab driver. Now here they were back home. Laughing about god knows what. Everything was funny to them in the state they were in. They collapsed on the couch both taking in deep breaths. Shay put her head on his shoulder._

_"We are going to end up alone." She sighed._

_"Yup." He agreed. Shay laughed and playfully slapped his chest._

_"You aren't supposed to agree with me, you're supposed to say I'm to beautiful to end up alone."_

_He turned his head to look at her as she looked up at him, "You're to beautiful to end up alone." His whispered to her as their eyes met._

_"Has it ever crossed your mind?" she asked._

_"What?" he asked_

_"Me."_

_"You?" he asked._

_"Me."_

_"I don't-" before he could say anything more her lips met his. He froze for a moment. Yes this thought had crossed his mind, many times, but he never let it get in the way of their friend ship. He loved her he needed her in his life. He never wanted sex to mess that up, plus he never thought it crossed her mind. While she was beautiful and his type he knew that he himself was far from her type. He knew he shouldn't kiss her back, that they were simply to drunk for this, that rationally this thought would never have crossed her mind, that he wouldn't be allowing this if he was in the right state of mind, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to. Before he knew it they had found their way to his bedroom. He knew in the morning they both would regret this because it was wrong, but right now it felt so good it felt so right._

He felt all the color drain from his face. "It can't be." He shook his head, "No."

"What?" Matt asked.

"We need to speak to the father." The doctor continued, "We need to let him know."

Kelly couldn't stop himself he couldn't stay strong anymore. "No." he felt the tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't even stand anymore. He let his back fall against the wall as he collapsed to the ground. He couldn't be strong anymore, he couldn't this day was the worst of his life. She had lied. She wasn't going to be there for him always. She left him alone. He was alone. "I should have known." The words fell out his mouth without even thinking, "I should have seen the signs I shouldn't have let her" he sobbed, "I should have protected her."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- So here is another one, since today is my day off I decided to have breakfast in bed and catch up on my shows I missed last night due to work and write some more. Let me know what you guys think. **

**I do apologies if I get anything wrong about what could or could not happen at the hospital, I'm googling to try and get my facts strait about woman in a coma having baby's and what not, so I'm trying to keep it as realistic as I can.**

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He didn't go to her. He knew he should, but he couldn't. The doctors wanted him to make the decision, him to decide if they were going to try and keep Leslie alive or if they should pull the plug. He didn't know what to do. Her family had come to the hospital and admitted they hardly knew her anymore. They had never gotten along her family not accepting her life choices. Her family had become him. They all agreed. They didn't know about the baby when they told him he could make the decision. He hadn't told anyone yet that he knew who the father was.

Her family wanted to keep her alive because of the baby, but they still wanted to respect Leslie's wants. They knew they couldn't guess what she could have wanted. Her father who arrived after her mother did had told his ex wife that Leslie had wanted a baby at some point in the past, but he couldn't know for sure if this was what she still had wanted. He was the closest to Shay, the only one in her family that she still spoke to. He was the only one that said her life was her own; she could make her own decisions.

He had made the final decision that it should be Kelly that made the final decision, but Kelly still hadn't gone to see her. He couldn't bring himself to look at her looking so peacefully sleeping. He had seen people like that before at any moment they could wake up, or at least they just looked like they would. He knew in the back of his mind he would allow himself to be tricked he knew a part of him would hold on to her wakening up. The doctor's had assured them there was no possibility that she would. That she was gone forever. She wouldn't come back.

His Shay. She was lost to him forever. She would never hold her baby. She would never get to figure out what to call the child. She wouldn't be there for the child's first words, the first time it walked or the first day of school. Shay had wanted a baby while she had given up on any chance he knew it had still been in the back of her mind.

A baby. He wanted to smile at the idea. They had wanted this at one point they had wanted a baby together. He loved kids and babies. He knew he would love her baby, but only if she was there. How could he do this by himself? How could he keep going without her? He couldn't raise a baby on his own. And who knew if they kept her alive and tried to get her body to carry to term they could still lose the baby. He could get his hopes up and still feel more pain and more loss. No he couldn't make this decision.

He walked into the firehouse. He was going to go about his shift; he wasn't going to think about Shay. He couldn't bring himself to make the decision to end her life. He didn't want to be that person. He loved her he couldn't let her go.

"Severide." Came Boden's voice, "My office."

He sighed he knew he was in for a lecture the chief was going to tell him to go home, that he didn't have to be here, but he did. He couldn't sit at home. He couldn't go home. He hadn't gone home. He couldn't go back to that place to know she wasn't going to come through the doors and say she was home. He couldn't stay up all night waiting for someone that wasn't going to come home. No matter how hard he would try and convince himself to go to sleep, but he knew his mind wouldn't let him. So he didn't go. It didn't help he still didn't get to sleep. He walked all night. Just walked. He couldn't stop himself.

"Yes Chief." He tried to sound normal; he tried to sound like he wasn't lost.

"Go home." The chief said. "I already called in someone for you."

"Chief I can work." He told him, "Really I can."

"No." The chief said. "You can't." he paused, "Have you gone to see her?"

Kelly frowned, "No." he told the chief, "Her family is with her."

"You're her family." Boden told him. "You. They want you there."

"I don't want to be there." He told the chief.

"You don't mean that. You two have always been there for each other, always."

He looked up. Always. They were supposed to be there for each other always. Yet she was never going to be there for him again. He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't be there for her now when he knew it would be the last time. "I can't." he said, "I just can't."

"Until you can, you won't be here." The chief said, "There are people you can talk to."

"I don't want to talk to anyone!" he almost yelled, "I just want to work."

"I'm sorry Severide, but you can't. Go home." The chief told him. "Or go to the hospital."

Severide shook his head and left the office. He grabbed his bag and ignored the voices from the other men as he left the house. He didn't know where he was going; he didn't know where to go. He couldn't go home but he also couldn't go to the hospital. He couldn't go there because they were going to ask him if was going to keep her alive, they were going to ask him if he made a decision. They wanted to know if he had figured out whom the father was they would want to know if he could find a way to get a hold of him so they could figure out what to do with the baby.

They wanted to keep her alive as if she was some incubator to keep the baby alive, but she would still be dead. They wanted to grow a child in a dead mother. He didn't want to make this decision. He knew that Shay would want the baby, but he couldn't do this with out her. He had no idea what to do with a baby. He wouldn't be able to keep going on his own. He was alone. He couldn't be there for someone else. He couldn't take care of a baby and be alone. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

He looked up slowly and realized his feet had brought him to the hospital. His heart dropped. Why was he here? Always. He was here because she needed him.

He followed his feet and heart not his mind. They brought him to just outside her door. Inside he could see her family inside. Her father and mother who hated each other, but for this short time they were brought together by their daughter. Even though Leslie's mother hadn't spoken to her in a long time, even though she didn't agree with her life choices, but in the end she was here for her daughter.

"Kelly." She said looking up her voice sounded both surprised and relived. "You're here."

He didn't move he just stood in the door way his heart racing. There she was lying there just looking asleep. She seemed as if any moment she could wake up. His voice didn't seem to work he couldn't speak. He felt like he couldn't move she was there so broken. So alone. He shook his head. "I'm sorry." His voice broke, "I'm sorry."

"Shhh." Her mother said as she rushed over to him taking her in her arms as the man cried, "This isn't your fault. This isn't your fault." She had always liked Severide. She had hoped that Leslie would look past her foolish attempt to be with another woman and see she had the perfect man already standing by her side. She had wanted Leslie to marry Kelly they were perfect together. She had seen the way the man looked at her daughter; she had seen the way her daughter looked at him. They had been in love even if they didn't know it. Finally she let go of Kelly when he moved like a ghost over to Leslie's side. He took her hand in his and still didn't say much. He put his head down on the bed resting it on her. Mumbling over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Leslie's father rested his hand on Kelly's back. It broke his heart for the man. The strong fire fighter looking so broken. The man had really loved his daughter. "Kelly." He said softly after a while.

Kelly slowly looked up he knew the questions were coming ones he didn't want to answer.

"Do you know anything about how she ended up-" he stopped his daughter had wanted a baby for so long, but she had decided against it almost a year ago. How was the pregnant now, had she been with a man?

Kelly shook his head not wanting to answer. He knew but he couldn't bring himself to say. He didn't want to make any decisions right now this was too hard. A doctor walked in as Kelly shook his head.

"I know this is a hard time, but she is an organ donor." The doctor started.

"Stop right there." Kelly said his voice low, "Don't even say it." His voice was now a growl.

"Its what she would have want-" the doctor continued.

"You don't know what she would have wanted." He kept his growl as his eyes locked of the doctor, "You didn't know her."

"Kelly-" her mother started.

"No" he growled. He looked at the doctor "Get out."

The doctor looked at Leslie's father, "Sir, the decision comes down to you."

Kelly glanced at her father his heart racing. Finally her father spoke.

"I didn't know my daughter well these past few years, but I did know a year ago she wanted a baby." He paused as he looked at Kelly, "She wanted your baby."

"She wanted any baby." He mumbled as he looked away.

"Kelly." He started, "She didn't say anything to do about this baby?"

"She's about thirteen weeks along." The doctor said slowly, "If you don't want to let her go just yet. We would like to do an ultra sound to check on the baby."

Kelly said nothing his heart raced, did he want to know about the baby.

"Of course." Her father said as the doctor brought in a machine.

Kelly's heart dropped as the doctor looked for a heartbeat, this couldn't be real she wasn't pregnant. Then a sound echoed through a room. A sound that he couldn't help but allow himself to smile. Hope. Shay's hope her future.

"There it is." The doctor smiled, "Can you hear it."

Kelly nodded his head. He could hear the baby he could see the baby. Shay's baby. His Baby. Their baby.

"Kelly." Said her father.

He didn't answer another tear fell down his face as he thought about everything. Shay was gone but here was their child. How could he make this decision? How could he spend months now with Shay here, but not really here? Yet how could he make the decision to kill her and their baby? "I can't do this." He finally said, "I can't make this decision."

"It would be easier if we could speak to her. If we could know who the father was." Her mother said, "To know if this was what she wanted."

"It was me." Kelly said, "They baby's mine." He hung his head as he held her hand, "I can't do this. I can't make this decision, I love her I can't let her go, but I can't-" he stopped, "I can't do this by my self."

Leslie's mom moved over and took his other hand. "Oh Kelly." She said softly.

"You won't do this alone." A voice said from the door. Kelly looked up to see Matt and Gabby standing there. "You know what she would have wanted."

"She would have wanted this baby." He said tears in his eyes. He remembered Shay before shift the last morning they had together at their home.

"_Kelly." She said as she came in to the apartment. "You don't have any plans for tomorrow night do you?" she asked._

"_No." he said as he looked at her as he put his jacket on, "Why?"_

"_We need to have dinner." She smiled._

"_Big news?" he asked wondering what she could be so excited about, "Good?"_

"_I think so." She frowned for a moment, "I hope you do too."_

"_If you think its good then it must be." He smiled as the two walked out of the door together._

"That's what she wanted to tell me." He said softly, "She wanted to tell me at dinner." He shook his head, "She was excited, and she wanted this."

The doctor nodded his head, "Then we will do everything we can." He paused, "There is still no guarantees. This will be a very complicated pregnancy. Her body needs to stay healthy for the baby, we need her to go to term or at least 28 weeks, but lets hope we can get her between 28 weeks and 37 for the baby's best chance."

Kelly nodded his head, but felt numb. His best friend was dying, but she had a chance to leave behind a part of her she had always wanted. He didn't want to allow himself to hope that this baby could make it, he didn't want to feel any more pain from loss.

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**AN- Leave a review and let me know what you guys think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- can't stop writing so here is another one.**

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"New girl at work, I thought she was you." He said as she sat next to her bed. He was getting used to talking to her, pretending that she could hear him. "I felt my heart race I knew it didn't make any sense, but Shay I really let myself believe you were there." He thought of the girl that was there to replace Shay.

He sighed, "Shay if there is any way." He paused, "anyway you can open those beautiful eyes of yours-" he stopped this was why he was afraid to come to see her, afraid to sit by her side. Because a part of him would always hope she would just open her eyes.

"She won't." The nurse said softly as she came into the room. "I'm sorry, the chances aren't good."

Severide just looked at the woman, "I know." He said.

"It's nice you talk to her." She said as she hooked up some Iv's for Shay, "I'm sure your girlfriend does like it."

"She isn't my girlfriend, just my best friend." He told her.

"I'm sorry." The woman said looking at Shay and then Severide, "She's a fighter, I know she will hold out long enough for this baby."

"Yeah." He mumbled. "Maybe."

"You're here." Said another voice from the doorway. Kelly looked up to see Shay's mother. He wasn't the woman's number one fan. She had left her husband after she cheated on him with a rich man. She married said Rich man and now thought money could get her anything in the world. That was another reason Shay didn't speak to her mother much. In the divorce she had taken her father's side. "Yeah just got done with my shift." He told her.

"You really do care about her." She said softly, "I wish she could have seen that."

"She did." Kelly frowned, "She always did, Always."

"Honey, I always saw the two of you married." She gave a sad smile, "She would have looked so beautiful walking down the isle to you."

"You didn't know your daughter at all." He told her, "There was never a chance for us to get married we didn't see each other that way."

"Then how did she end up pregnant?" she asked folding her arms, "If you two weren't attracted to each other.

"Drunk night, we both had awful dates, met up talked about it drank to much. Mistakes happen when you're drunk." He told her.

"We never even talked about it, just woke up the next morning and pretended it never happened, it changed nothing. We still were just friends who made a mistake." He paused, "We should both be excited right now." He muttered, "Sitting on the couch after work talking about names." He paused, "Talking about the future."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." She said slowly. "The future."

Kelly looked up, "Future?"

"Where do you see yourself ten years from now?" she asked as she sat down on the other side of Shay when the nurse left.

"I don't know" he told her, "Being a fire fighter I guess." He had always thought his future had Shay in it, no matter many times he thought to his future she was always there. His best friend. He didn't know how to plan a future without her. He didn't know what to do without her.

"You have a child on the way." She said, "You need to know or at least have a plan what you are going to do. Being a single father is hard. Being a fire fighter and single father is even harder."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this?" he asked

"No I think we should allow Shay to try and carry to term, but after-" she trailed off.

"After what?" H asked

"Kelly you aren't ready for this kind of responsibility." She told him, "You really aren't"

"How would you know what I can do?" he asked, "What do you want me to do? Give the baby away to adoption?"

"No." she said, "Well not fully." She paused, "Honey Leslie's sister she's been trying to have a baby for a long time."

"She doesn't have a sister." He told her, "I know everything about her. I would know if she had a sister."

"Step sister, my husband's daughter. She comes from a well off family, her husband is very well off, the child will never want for anything." She told him.

Kelly didn't know what to say he felt anger fill him. "How dare you." He growled at her, "Ask me this. To give my child away!"

"Not give, you can be compensated." She told him.

"This is why Shay never talked to you, never went to visit you for thanksgiving, why she always spend thanksgiving with they guys from the fire house. Because you think you can just throw money at something you want and it will go your way." He couldn't believe this woman was trying to buy her own daughters baby.

"You can't say you can offer this child a stable life." Her mother started "Sarah can give this baby everything it wants. Who knows in a week you could be laying her just like Leslie, your job is dangerous. You won't have anyone to lean on when you need to."

"I'm not selling my child." He shook his head, "Last year we both wanted this we had a plan, and life got in the way. This isn't how I wanted this to happen, but this is how it did."

"You can't do this alone." She told him

"I can." He told her, "I will." He glanced down at Shay. "Leave." He said looking back up.

"She is my daughter, I am family. You can't make me leave." She said.

Kelly looked up at her his eyes meeting hers, "Don't dare try and pretend to be her family, I have been there for her. Every time something happens I have been there, forever break up, for every sickness, and for every injury I have been there. I am her family. Leave right now."

She looked like she was going to try and say more, but she sighed, "I have things to do." She told him, "Sarah wanted to meet for lunch."

"Bye." He growled at her as he watched her leave. He could see now why she didn't speak of her mother much.

Kelly's anger began to leave after a while, but the thoughts in his mind didn't. He wasn't the only one that doubted that he could do this. She pretty much said everything he worried about. Being a single father raising a baby and doing shift work? How was he going to do this? Maybe he was fooling himself, hell he hadn't even been home since everything happened. He moved in with Matt and Gabby so that he would have to sleep in his old home.

He stayed as long as he could before he had to leave he hadn't wanted to, but visiting hours were over. As he walked outside he put his hands in his pockets of his leather jacket. He wanted to hurry home before the storm hit. He got into his car and threw it into reverse without looking he pulled out of his parking spot. He should have looked. His car came in contact with another.

"Shit." He growled as he got out of his car. His eyes fell on to Sylvie from the firehouse. She was getting out of the other car.

"Look where you-" she stopped herself, "Severide, I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing I hit your car." He told her. The girl turned to look at her car then back at him.

"It really isn't that bad don't worry about it."

"I hit your car." He said again, "The headlight is smashed." He sighed, "Just take it to the shop and I'll pay to have it fixed."

"You don't have to really, this is my fault I should have moved out of your way." She smiled, "Plus you have a lot on your plate right now, you don't need to add this to it."

He looked at the girl frowning. He had noticed since she came to the house that she didn't seem to have much confidence. She always seemed to blame herself when something went wrong. Never did she say once that someone else was to blame, always herself. Either she had a huge confidence issue or someone in her past had always made her feel at fault. "I'll pay." He said again, "End of conversation."

He could see the girl still wanted to argue still tell him everything was fine, but she didn't. It seemed when his voice grew with a little more authority that she to shrink down and nod her head. "I'm sorry." He told her, "I really should have been looking where I was going. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." She smiled, he weren't going that fast." She glanced at her cell phone and frowned, "I should go." she quickly added as she darted back in her car and drove off.

He watched after her puzzled, something was strange about this new girl, something he was going to figure out. She seemed nice enough, but he didn't like having her in the house. At quick glance his mind would trick him that Shay was back. That she was standing just a head of him. Yet it always ended up being Sylvie. His heart always dropped when he saw the blonde driving, because that should be Shay. Having that girl there just reminded him more that Shay wasn't.

He shook his head and got back in his car, he didn't have time to think about this new girl, not when he was still angry about what happened in the hospital. Once again that anger filled him. How dare Shay's mother ask him to sell their child to her? How dare she come in and think she knew what was best for Shay. She had been nothing but a horrible mother the moment she found out her daughter was gay. She always ignored Shay and embraced her stepdaughter and now she wanted to take Shay's child and give it to her stepdaughter. No. He wouldn't allow it. He didn't know how he was going to do this or what his future held all he knew was he couldn't let go of any small part of shay that he could still have again. Raising Shay's child would in part be like having her back.

He sighed as he found himself parking outside of Molly's. He needed a drink, more then just one he needed to get his mind to shut down for a while he needed to let go and not have to worry about anyone or anything. He wanted to drink away any idea that Shay was gone that any moment his child could slip away. He wanted to get the last hour out of his mind. He never wanted to see Shay's mother again. He didn't want to think of Sylvie or the fender bender they had just been in. He didn't want to worry about what she was hiding. He just wanted to be a guy in a bar and maybe meet a girl that could take his mind off everything in his life for at least a little while. He needed an escape.

* * *

A few hours later and Kelly was succeeding in his plan to get obliterated tonight. He knew he wouldn't go to Matt and Gabby's tonight not like this. They would think he had some problem and would need to talk it out with him. He didn't want to talk he was tired of talking. Nothing was going to make his life ok right now. He just needed to find ways to make the pain a little easier to deal with. He had to find ways to keep himself going. If drinking and finding girls to go home with worked for him that that was what he would do. He didn't want to be the guy sitting by his best friends bedside waiting for her to die. He didn't want to lay awake at night and think of the future that could have been if Shay had been allowed to raise her child with him. Together. No he couldn't think about those kind of things, he couldn't because then it hurt too much. He would simply drink; drink until he couldn't think of some future that could have been.

Tonight was harder then most to find a girl, it seemed almost every woman he found attractive was there with another guy and none seemed to want to leave their partner and have a good night with him. So he drank more. He sat at the bar and joked with who ever would listen, and he drank some more. His friends hadn't cut him off yet so he drank some more. He smiled when a girl sat down next to him, but let his smile fall away.

Her back was to him. His heart began to race. Shay was sitting next to him she was here. The guys must have called her to give him a ride home. "Shay?" he asked his voice slurred.

The girl turned around and he felt his heart fall. Not Shay. Sylvie. "Huh?" she asked as she looked at him.

"Nothing." he mumbled

The blonde was about to say something but her phone buzzed. She glanced down at her phone then looked around the bar. Without saying anything else she got up and left.

Kelly shrugged his shoulders then looked back at Gabby, "More." His voice still slurred.

"Kelly." Gabby sighed, "I think it's time you go home. I'll call you a cab."

"I-I-m Fine." He replied.

"You've had enough this is your cut off." Gabby said again her voice stern, "Sorry."

"What ever." He muttered as he got up and left. Not waiting for anyone to say anything more. He stumbled outside about to go to his car when he realized Gabby had taken his keys a while back. He stumbled again finding it hard to stay upright. He got to his car and leaned on it.

"Shit." He muttered the doors were locked he couldn't even sleep inside of it tonight.

"Are you alright?" Sylvie asked as she appeared next to him like magic.

"Fine." He muttered.

"Do you need a ride home?" she asked.

"Can't go home." He shook his head, "Not without Shay."

"Aren't you staying with Matt and Gabby, can't you stay there?" she asked.

"No." he said again. "I'm I'mfine" his voice growing worse his words fall together.

"You aren't. Please I can't leave you out here its starting to rain, I have a couch you can crash on tonight." She looked up at the sky as thunder rumbled overhead.

He looked up trying to figure out an excuse, but nothing came to mind. He nodded his head. He attempted to follow her, but couldn't walk in a strait line. The girl shook her head and sighed as she took his arm around her shoulder, "Follow my lead." She told him. He didn't argue he was growing to tired to argue anything. He didn't remember much of the car ride, it seemed she sat him in the passenger seat then the next thing he knew she was helping him through her front door to an apartment in a very undesirable neighbor hood. She helped him down onto the couch and before either of them knew it he was asleep. It seemed he was sleeping before his head even hit the pillow.

* * *

**An- Sorry this has taken so long. My main job keeps me pretty busy then my second job even more so. I didn't want to go another day without posting and know I won't have any time tomorrow as I teach horse back riding lessons all day until 4 then go strait to my other job until 12:30am… So here is a quick chapter, hopefully Sunday after I finish teaching I'll have some time to write so more. **

**Also my ideas of where Sylvie's character is going was before Tuesday's episode aired so her character might go a little different in my story then she does in the show as I have at least the next 6 chapters planned in my head and I started working out the plan before I saw the last episode. **


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